As rumors swirl and excitement builds around the office about the killer deals that will be offered on the dealEvery site, we know one of the biggest questions will be….who in the world negotiates these deals?

The bright green door with the golden plaque that reads “Deal Dept.” was a sort of gateway to another universe for most of us. The highly secretive area of the office guarded by access control robots that scan your retinal cortex to assure that you are worthy of entry, frankly, scared us all. We all went about our busy days walking past the magic portal with a….. Don’t look – it’s not really there – is that a robot? – what the heck is in there?……kind of vibe. At lunch we whispered about the folks that worked behind that door, some of us (yeah you Ben) argued that the “DD” was home to cyborgs that were half human half I pad. What we did know was that we never saw anyone enter or leave, but we all felt the presence. Shadows that will make you turn quickly, only to see the same warm smile of the Justin Bieber poster hanging from your cubicle wall.

That all changed when I was allowed to speak with, let’s call her NinjaStar4 – or not. We got right to it, here is what I learned:

Me: Ok what really goes down in the Deal Dept? Oh…..and are you human?

NS4: Our mission is to negotiate the best deals, from the best online retailers on the best products online, all the time. No, I am half human half Iphone5.

Me: Why all the security measures? Is the eyeball scanner completely necessary?

NS4: Yes, since we are in pre-launch, it is imperative that we maintain the highest level of secrecy. You see, while some of our competitors are hammering out two for one taco deals for the Tri-City area, we are negotiating deals with national merchants, for great products at incredible savings available to anyone across the country. This requires an eyeball scanner, you know, to avoid “leaks”.

Me: Can you tell me about some of the deals the DD is working on?

NS4: Yeah, sure, absolutely, why don’t I give you all the secrets of the Deal Dept. or…. maybe you can justregister for the pre launch and wait for September 1^st like everyone else.

Me: If I scan my eyeballs will I go blind?